I was debating on writing again but I received a note from a friend who said I should write again. I debated on if I had the strength to get on here and spill my guts and put myself through more pain, then I received a text from a friend of mine who has been checking in on me everyday. This time the text had more to it than “how are you doing?” He wanted to see how I was doing because a friend of his who has been married for a long time and was going through a divorce , drove his car into a canal leaving behind two very small children.

Thinking about that I decided it was time to write again. Time to share my thoughts and if someone is going through similar pain maybe something I write will help them.

Sunday was a very difficult day for me. I moved to San Antonio to start my new job. What was difficult was saying goodbye again….Saying goodbye to my daughters and Senor Poopie. Reliving the fact that I will not see people who I have seen almost everyday for over 20 years of my life, who I love dearly with my heart, for a while. Reliving saying goodbye once again.

On the other side of the equation I am happy about where I am going. I am happy at the fact that for the first time in my life I am doing something on my own. I am no longer being spoon-fed. I am in the survival mode. Not survival like an animal that kills because they have to eat, survival in terms of mental survival. I am becoming the man my father was. I know he is looking down at me with that big wide grin he had saying “I am proud of you….keep going I am right by your side.”

I have been doing a lot of praying, reading the bible, searching out counseling from pastors and spiritual counselors, friends and family. I have been doing some deep soul searching as to who is Jim Oktavec. Looking deep into the mirror asking who is that person I see in the mirror? I have been researching, studying scriptures, devotionals and spoken words. I have made it a priority in my life to find Jim Oktavec. To recapture that spirit I once had.

Throughout my time away from the blog I have been on a quest to find an answer to one question. What is faith and how do I keep it?  I have been taking notes on things that I have read, words people have spoken, scriptures I have read and I want to share them with you. Words and thoughts from the bible, family, friends, pastors and articles.

Many of these are sentences and points but I really felt compelled to share them with you because they have helped me. Some you may have already heard and some may be new to you.

2 corinthians 5:7 – We live by faith, not by sight

Hebrews 11:1 – Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see

It’s Only Temporary – How to Fix The Situation

1.                  Strip down your spirituality

GET RID OF

Guilt

Negativity

Worry

Negative labels

Speaking negative words

Fear

Anger

Hostility

Unforgivenss

Refusing to move forward

2.                  Start Running

Write down your vision

Run your race

Stay in your own lane

Stay focused

Run with perseverance

Just Keep Going

.     3.         Run with your eyes focused on Jesus. Run with the word of God

Remember what Jesus through, you can do it

Let the past go. You can not change it

Letting It Go

Keep your spirit clean

Let go of ANY negativity, sadness, doubt, worry, frustration, because if your hands are filled with these things you will not be able to accept anything else from God because your hands are too full

God will promote you to the level of pain you can handle

Anger is okay if you do not keep it

Do not let the sun go down and have anger, hate or unforgiveness in your heart

Holding on to your history stops your destiny

Unforgiveness is like cancer, it eats your soul

Unforgiveness and Anger DOES NOT HURT THEM it only HURTS YOU

No one has the power to control you

Your troubles are only pot holes on the road to your destiny

Grudges and unforgiveness cancels out your gifts from God

God favors you because he trusts you, why not trust Him

Test of blessings is how you handle your burdens

RESOLVE

If you could see what God was about to give you, you WOULD let it GO

I have also learned that without patience you cannot have faith….Wait for God with confident expectations; weight (it was meant to be spelled that way) forwardly.

Psalm 37:7 – Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him. Fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass

Isaiah 40:31 – But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faith

A farmer plants a seed and waits. He knows that it will take time for the seed to grow and he patiently waits because he knows in time he will have a wonderful harvest…..So why can’t you trust and have faith in God like the farmer does? It will take time with God just like it takes time for a seed to grow into a harvest but think of the harvest you will have.

I want to thank everyone who has shared the above words with me. They have helped me to answer the question “who is that person looking back at me in the mirror.” These words are rocks on my pathway to finding Jim Oktavec.

Thank you to everyone who has spent countless hours praying for us. I believe in the power of prayer. I am also starting to understand what “free will” means.

I would like to ask if you could continue to pray for us.

Thank all of you for being there for us. I know I couldn’t be sitting here typing if it wasn’t for you.

You are all in my prayers day and night.

Love,

Jim