My life has been literary turned upside down. Things that I
took for granted are no longer here. Things that I saw in the past are gone.
For the first time in months I can admit to myself that I
could not be where I am at today mentally, emotionally and spiritually if my
world had not been shaken to the core. I can finally put my head around “God
works in mysterious ways.” Had my world not been turned upside down I would
have never found God, I would have never been able to look deep inside my soul
and see who I really am. I would have never been able to appreciate all of the
wonderful things and people that God has put into my life.
I am opening places deep in my heart and soul that where one
time closed. Places that I had forgotten about. I am learning to become a
person again. I am learning that life is not about the things that are thrown
at you but how you handle them. I am learning to focus on myself. I have found
that the only way I am getting through my hurricane is through God. As I
mentioned before I have tried so many times to change my ways, my thinking and
the way I lived but had always failed. There is a reason why all of this
turmoil has come into my life. It was a wake up call from above. A call telling
me that I was put on this earth for a purpose. I wasn’t put here to be negative
and sit and wonder why my life wasn’t going the way I wanted it to. I have
realized that my life is going the way it should be. Every single day is
a lesson. Life is about how you look at it. If you look at it in a negative way
then your life will be filled with despair and negativity. If you look at the
things around you and see the good in them you will be filled with love. Once
you are filled with that love you have to share it, as you share love, it
becomes greater in your heart. You have to share the love in your heart so you
will be filled with more and more love. Life is about sharing your love and
compassion with others.
I have seen things that I have never seen before that were
always right in front of me. I have found an unbelievable inner strength that I
never knew I had. I am finding that each day is an opportunity.
This has happened to make me whole again; to make me JIM
again. To look deep and find the man that God created me to be.
Don’t get me wrong I still have my moments of pain and
despair but I am learning through prayer and God’s word that we will face many
trials and tribulations but all you have to do is look to the word of God and
you WILL find answers.
I have found a new deep compassion for others. I have
learned that no matter how bad I think my life is, there is always someone who
has it worse. There is always someone out there who needs love and prayer.
The other night I was talking to my daughter on the phone
and she was telling me that there were balloons and a cross by the elementary school on the corner of
our street. It was a monument for someone who died there. She told me it was
new. She felt a deep compassion in her heart for the person who died there and
was sadden that someone died. She told me she thought it was a child because
there were pink balloons with teddy bears on them. She also said that there was
a stuffed animal leaning against the cross. As she was telling me this I could
tell in her voice that she was very sad about this. I found myself welling up
as she was telling me the story. I was thinking to myself how devastating it
must be for the parents of this child or how much pain this family was going
through. I don’t know how these parents could go on. My daughter then told me
she was at work and a woman came to cash register to ask her if the items in
her hand would make a good gift for a 12 year old girl. My daughter looked at
them and said yes, but she sensed something was not right. She told me the
woman had a blank stare on her face and didn’t look right. My daughter asked
the woman if she was okay. The woman told her that her daughter was hit by a
car a week ago and died. She told my daughter that the little girl was walking
to school when a woman who was driving went into diabetic shock and lost
control of her car and ran her daughter over. At that moment my daughter knew
exactly where that little girl was killed. The woman told my daughter that her
little girl was supposed to attend her best friends birthday party today and
she was buying the little girl a gift and was going to give it to her for her
daughter who was now in heaven. My daughter came around the cash register and
hugged the woman and told her that the little girl was with her and she is one
of God’s Angels. As the tears rolled down both of their cheeks the woman held
onto my daughter tight and cried.
After hearing my daughter tell me this story I couldn’t help
but feel compassion for this family and look at my own life and realize that I
am blessed.
I heard this song the other day and it reminded me of my
situation
NewWorldSon - Learning To Be The
Light
When the stars came crashing down
In tiny pieces to the ground
I was all alone down here
Trapped beneath the atmosphere
Then I, thought somebody called my name
I spun around and caught a flame
I gave into a God I didn't know
And now everything is falling into place
A brand new life is calling and I owe it all to grace
It's so much brighter living in your world
Savior, what you did for me
You gave me something I want everyone to see
When we struggle and it all goes wrong
Only you can make it right
So I say
Oh oh oh oh oh
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
When a heart is cold as ice
You can't melt it with advice
No one wants to listen to
A list of things they shouldn't do
So I build a city on a hill
And I light a candle on the sill
Knowing you'll be always knocking at the door
Oh God I just want to love on everyone
All I have is yours to give so let the people come
It's so much brighter living in your world
Savor what you did for me
You gave me something I want everyone to see
When we struggle and it all goes wrong
Only you can make it right
So I say
Oh oh oh oh oh
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
im learning to be the light
that makes the shadows hide
the light that breaks the curse of pride
the light that takes the weary in it's arms
When it all came crashing down
There was only darkness all around
But in the distance I could see
A Flame
It's So much brighter living in your world
Savior what you did for me
You gave me something I want everyone, I mean everyone to see
When we struggle and it all goes wrong
Only you can make it right
So I say
Oh oh oh oh oh
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
I'm learning to be the light!!
In tiny pieces to the ground
I was all alone down here
Trapped beneath the atmosphere
Then I, thought somebody called my name
I spun around and caught a flame
I gave into a God I didn't know
And now everything is falling into place
A brand new life is calling and I owe it all to grace
It's so much brighter living in your world
Savior, what you did for me
You gave me something I want everyone to see
When we struggle and it all goes wrong
Only you can make it right
So I say
Oh oh oh oh oh
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
When a heart is cold as ice
You can't melt it with advice
No one wants to listen to
A list of things they shouldn't do
So I build a city on a hill
And I light a candle on the sill
Knowing you'll be always knocking at the door
Oh God I just want to love on everyone
All I have is yours to give so let the people come
It's so much brighter living in your world
Savor what you did for me
You gave me something I want everyone to see
When we struggle and it all goes wrong
Only you can make it right
So I say
Oh oh oh oh oh
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
im learning to be the light
that makes the shadows hide
the light that breaks the curse of pride
the light that takes the weary in it's arms
When it all came crashing down
There was only darkness all around
But in the distance I could see
A Flame
It's So much brighter living in your world
Savior what you did for me
You gave me something I want everyone, I mean everyone to see
When we struggle and it all goes wrong
Only you can make it right
So I say
Oh oh oh oh oh
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
I'm learning to be the light
whoa, whoa
I'm learning to be the light!!
Love,
Jim
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