A Wise Girl

A Wise Girl

All of my blogs have been about my depression sadness and hurt. This blog is not one of those. This blog is about a wise young girl.

The couple across the street from me, I would say early 60’s, are truly two people who are in love. You can feel the love come off of them when you see them together.

I had just arrived in Houston, got in the house put my bags down, petted the dogs and decided in needed to test myself.

Just then my daughter Rachel came home and we hugged and started to chat. During our chat Rachel told me that I had to promise to her that I would try to be happy all this weekend and to not get sad or emotional. We “pinky promised” on it.

We were off to the grocery store to pick up a cake and candles for Jackys 21^st birthday. On the way  she told me that the man from across the street has cancer of the stomach and they couldn’t operate and they didn’t know how bad it was. (this by the way is one of the kindest person you would ever know). I asked her how she found out and she said she was talking to his wife the other day. Rachel told her “see Robert only got better because he wanted to be home with you.” As they were talking she told Rachel that Robert, her husband, had to have a bag to go to the bathroom. She said that he didn’t care as long as he was alive he was happy.

On the way to the store Rachel and I were stopped at a red light. I told her that her task was to teach me how to be happy. She said “Dad I already told you….no one can teach you to be happy. She went on and said look at Robert he is very sick but he is still happy”.

As we got into the parking lot I decided to test myself. I decided that I would do three things that would hurt me emotionally. Three things that would bring up past memories. I needed to test myself because of the promise I made Rachel. To try and be happy and not emotional all this weekend.

As I started my mental tests I felt the emotions come on and I thought of Robert and they went away. The second test my pain felt stronger and deeper and again I thought of Robert but I felt the emotions coming on more and more and felt I was going to lose it. But I didn’t I held my ground. I remembered what Rachel had told me The third test was one that I knew was going to be tough emotionally. I knew that this was something I had been putting off doing for a long time because it was so emotional. So I began the process and I have to tell you I felt it deep in my heart, I felt as though I was going to really lose it and felt the tears coming to my eyes but I stopped and thought of Robert my neighbor and what Rachel told me and made me promise.. It worked; I did what many have told me to do. Take it moment by moment. Slowly,  tt was not going to be easy. You will take two steps forward and 10 back. But one day by the grace of God I will be taking 10 steps forward and two back. I have to live each day moment by moment just like Robert from across the street.

Like a wise girl told me not long ago, no one can teach you to be happy, only you can be happy.