Thankful

Thankful

When you start to complain think of what you are grateful for and all you have. Your list should never stop. When in conversations with other people and you hear the negative or complaining remind them of everything they do have.

1. All my body parts eyesight, hearing, limbs etc.

2. Have a job

3. Place to live at

4. Bed to sleep in.

5. Ac in home, vehicle and work.

6. If unemployed still can get unemployed benefits.

7. People who love you and great friends and family.

8. Fresh water to drink and food to eat.

9. Vehicle to get around in, instead of taking the bus or walking miles and miles.

10. In the most blessed country to live in instead of a country that is in war or divided like many other countries.

11. Do not live in fear in going to work or sleeping in your home like many countries where people are in constant fear.

12. Churches in every corner where you can freely worship without being persecuted or thrown in jail.

13. Having couches, more than 1 T.V. and other accessories where most people do not have.

14. Access to the best medical care in the world.

15. The freedom to vote and have free speech.

16. The freedom to give to the needy and less fortunate.

17. For all the people in your lives that have made a profound impact in your life.

18. Having a stove, fridge, shower etc. Things billions of people do not have.

19. Having money in my account, wallet or change holder in my vehicle.

20. People who steer me or encourage me in the right direction or wise counsel.

This is just a few things I remind myself of what I have when I think I might complain.

Don't Should On Yourself

your feelings determine your actions. if you want to change your life you have to control the way you think

when you put yourself down who are you really putting down ? when you say I'm fat I'm dumb I'm no good I have no talent you're really pointing to the creator who made you. when you say god I'm worthless I'm no good I can't do anything you're saying god you blew it with me .

fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right .

focus on who god wants you to be and what god wants you to do in your life .

find a verse that speaks to you write it down on a card memorize it and then off for mid back to god .

father thank you that I'm valuable I am significant I am forgivable I am capable let god renew your mind because your life is shaped by your thoughts

when we face lights hertz habits and hang ups it's important that we walk out of self condemnation and into the faithful confidence that god forgives us .

guilt destroys your confidence .

don't should on yourself

Etched In My Mind Forever

Today there was a moment in time that will be etched in my mind forever. It was the moment I looked across a conference table and saw a woman who looked like the day I met her. the biggest hurt I have right now is that a total stranger has to make us sign papers saying that we no longer are together. A piece of paper that says that we no longer love each other.

I can honestly say I never thought this day came.

Last night as I was reading over and over the final documents I finally realized (in my opinion) why Gail did what she did.

Since Gail was a teenager she always had someone depend on her. She was always the person who people needed and looked to for guidance. She was the rock. She was always dependended on for 30 something years. Finally she got tired and shut down. She lost her identity. And up until now I never realized what that meant but now I do.

To lose your idenity is one of the most devestating things that can happen to a person. You shut down and you become a shell.

Through this I have also learned that I was a selfish person. Selfish not in a bad way. A way that I didnt know was selfish.

For example if I were to run an errand I would ask Gail to go. Sometimes she said she was busy doing housework, tired or doing paper work. I would get angry for selfish reasons. I would think that she didnt want to be with me and it was all about me. I didnt know I was doing this until recently. I should have understood and realized that she had something to do. Not that it was more important than coming with me, just something that HAD to get done. Instead of pouting I should have realized in my mind that its not about me. Its about life.

I have learned more about myself and more about Gail in these last few months than i have in the last 22 years.

As painful as this is for me to admit, we both needed this. We both lost our identity. Through no fault of our own, it just happen. Sure I can list of reasons WHY I think we lost our identities but it happen and there is nothing I can do to change that.

I do want to say that Gail handled the divorce settlement with the upmost respect for me and was there for me.

Yes looking across that conferance table at a woman i love with all my heart knowing in a matter of seconds I would be signing a piece of paper saying "we are no longer married" hurt and will hurt for a long time.

However I am looking forward to a brand new relationship with Gail as a friend. I look forward to laughing together and just talking one day. Who knows maybe one day we will take a trip to wal-mart together on a saturday morning at 8:00am.

To my new friend Gail, I love you with all my heart and may God Bless you

"Press on, fight the good fight cause the pain your feeling is just the dark before the morning" - Josh Wilson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfWAG-bnttQ


My friend Melanie sent me this song and told me to listen to the lyrics, so I did and i want to share them with you


Jonny Diaz - Scars lyrics

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5avBGmFjJo


She holds for dear life to the ends of the sleeves in her hands,
 Covering up lies that she wrote with a razor sharp pen,
 And the sting of the blade is no match for the pain of the loneliness she's going through,
 But we've all been there too.

Praise God we don't have to hide scars
 They just strengthen our wounds, and they soften our hearts.
 They remind us of where we have been, but not who we are
 So praise God, praise God we don't have to hide scars

You can still see the mark on his hand where there once was a ring
 He watched decades of history dissolve when she wanted to leave
 And the hole that it left there inside of his chest
 Is a canyon a thousand miles deep
 We all know how that feels.

Praise God we don't have to hide scars
 They just strengthen our wounds, and soften our hearts.
 They remind us of where we have been, but not who we are
 So praise God, praise God we don't have to hide scars

There once was a King who so burdened with grief
 Walked into death so that we could find peace
 He rose up with scars on his hands and his feet
 By them we are healed, by them we are healed.

So praise God we don't have to hide scars
 Yeah we know his are covering ours
 Praise God we don't have to hide scars
 They just strengthen our wounds and they soften our hearts
 They remind us of who we have been, but not who we are
 So Praise God we don't have to hide scars.

More to share

Every day I learn more about myself. I have been doing a lot of reading and deep deep soul searching. As I do this I take lots of notes to look back at and to share with others with the hopes that something I write may inspire you.

Never waste time waiting for something to happen. Take advantage of the opportunities God gives us to recover

Trust in God as small children trust in us

Know that you are powerless to change on your own. I have failed many times by trying to participate in what I thought, were the right activities and behaviors. You cannot change from the outside in

My needs are never greater than God’s supply

Someday I will be changed. I am struggling with dependency, in despair about my devastated life. But during this time I try to reflect on who I will become if I entrust my life to God.

I have swallowed my pride and admitted my mistakes

God may lead us into some tough times and experiences but as painful as they may be, we can be assured that he has our best in mind. We can also be sure that He will stand with us throughout the process

Anger expressed in selfish or harmful ways will always stand in our way to becoming the true person we are meant to be.

We may experience opposition when God begins to change us. Friends and family may feel threatened by the changes and try to stop us, if we experience opposition from co-dependants, we should be never surprised nor discouraged. We should continue trusting God to change us so we can help our family and friends.

Our faith in God and commitment to change often receives the criticism of others. Sometimes friends and family have a hard time believing we are sincere from our past behaviors. We can be sure that no matter what others may say or think God is pleased with the steps we are taking. If we persevere, we will discover that others will someday praise our efforts too.

Denial will never help things; it will only lead to greater suffering and devastation. We should act right away and heed the warning we receive. If we don’t we are headed for even greater trouble.

God is always talking to us especially when we are headed to self destruction. God sends us signals but we tend to ignore them and believe we can do just fine without him. So as we are heading for a path of self-destruction something drastic was/is needed to shake us up. He may send a catastrophe or event to get us back on the right track. Continuing on our present path will only lead to our self destruction.

These last events which took place in my life have shown me and have given me back self respect, honor and righteousness. Developing these qualities and through the events taking place in my life right now has made me face up to and dealing with my own inadequacies, dysfunctions and compulsive behaviors. Facing up to these was and is not easy nor painless

Through this journey I have learned that God provides us with all we need for a fruitful, functional life, but when we (I) rejected Him and abandoned His way; my life (our life) becomes unmanageable, unfruitful and dysfunctional. If I (we) want a normal, healthy life, I (we) can ask God for his aid and turn our life over to him. With God’s help, our life will someday bear “sweet grapes”