What I have Learned So Far This Year

I have learned to trust God

I have learned thta I am the ONLY one who can make me happy

I have learned that my daughters and grandkids are my world

I have learned  I have friends that really do care

I have learned that I CAN do things by myself and enjoy that time

I have learned that I have a lot of people who care for me

I have learned that I AM a GOOD person

I have learned to accept change

I have learned to be a responsible adult

I have learned that I am the only one who can take charge of my life, emotions and feelings

I have learned that when you have a task to do that you don’t want to do, once it is finished you feel really good about accomplishing it

I have learned that there are things in life that don’t seem fair at the time, but eventually you see the big picture

I have learned that I respect myself

I have learned that I love myself

I have learned how to have confidence again

I have learned what you see is not always what it appears to be

I have learned to be positive no matter what the circumstances are. There is always a positive side to everything

I have learned to live without Television

I have learned that there are people out there who really do care about more than materialistic things

I have learned that just because someone has money and flaunts it doesn’t make them a respectable person

I have learned how to forgive

I have learned how to smile again

I have learned that no one gets out of life alive

I have learned to no longer be a co-dependent

I have learned to cook

I have learned to leave the past behind, live for today and let tomorrow take care of itself

I have learned that helping someone and doing something for someone is not a task

I have learned the true meaning of depression and how it can be so debilitating

I have learned what unconditional love is

I have learned to be creative

I have learned that I can do anything I put my mind to

I have learned that circumstances in my life are just that and will pass and I will be a stronger person because of them

I have learned what happiness really mean

I have learned that the most important people in my life are my daughters and grandchildren

I have learned that love is just a word unless you can show it everyday

I have learned that my way is not always the right way

I have learned to listen more and speak less

I have learned to respect others

I have learned to no longer be judgmental

I have learned the best way to lose weight is to get a divorce (I lost 58 lbs and now wear a size 32 waist)

I learned that I CAN do anything I put my mind to

I learned to be thankful for everything I have

I have learned that I still have more to accomplish in life and today is only temporary

I have learned to dig deep and find my true self

I have learned no matter what the situation is, it’s only temporary

I have learned true hurt, pain and sadness

I have learned that some things are better left unsaid

I learned how to trust

I have learned that I CAN be successful

I have learned to be proud of myself

I have learned that life goes on

I have learned that I have a lot more to learn

The Little Things

In my last blog I mentioned how the gifts from God are like those gifts ,when you are a kid, that are waiting to be opened for you on Christmas morning. These are gifts that are given to you by someone who loves you unconditionally.

Yesterday I opened three of those gifts. Although they may seem small but they were gifts from God. The first one, which may seem silly to some, had to do with my lawn mower. I go back to Houston from San Antonio every weekend to see my daughters and grand kids. When I go back I will do work around the house and mow the lawn. For the last month or so my mower would not work. I would have to borrow my neighbors. Yesterday when I went out to cut the grass I thought to myself what the heck, I’ll give my mower a shot and see if it will start. Before I pulled the cord I looked up to the sky and said, come on big guy start this thing for me please. First pull, nothing….Then the second pull it started right up and ran like a top.

The second gift came as a phone call. This was a client that I have been working on for weeks to be a sponsor of a big event that we are having. At first he was on the fence and wasn’t sure if he wanted to spend the money for the sponsorship. But yesterdays call changed that. He said that he was thinking over the weekend and something told him that this might be a great opportunity for him and his business to sponsor this event. So we are back negotiating again on an account that looked hopeless to some. But not to me because I had been asking for help, wisdom, guidance and perseverance.

The final gift came last night. On Saturday my daughter Rachel lost her cell phone. We looked high and low for it all over the house, in our cars, the yard everywhere and could not find it. I must of called it a thousand times if we would be able to hear it. No luck. She went to work and I continued to search the house but nothing. I know it worried her and frustrated her because her life is in her phone; Pictures, numbers etc. Then as I was driving home from Houston to San Antonio I was asking the man upstairs if he could direct Rachel to find her phone. Then about 30 minutes later I received a call from her cell phone. It was a male on the other end. He said that he had found the cell phone in his yard about a block from our house. Rachel must have dropped it when she was walking the dogs on Saturday night.

I know to some this may seem like a coincidence and seem very trivial but I really believe that these were gifts that were under my tree that I opened. I can’t wait to see what He has in store for me today.

2012 has been a year thus far that will remain in my heart and soul forever. 2012 has brought so many life changing moments; pain, sorrow, hurt, fear, guilt, feeling unwanted, unloved, that I will never ever be the same person I once was.

Today will be a day that I will never forget. Today I took another step in my faith and was baptized by Pastor Joel Olsteen.As I was waiting in line I noticed that everyone had family members with them. People who came with them to witness this life changing moment. As i looked at the chair next to me it was empty. It was only me. But for the first time in my life I was okay being alone. Because I knew that I wasnt alone, God, my father and all of my other family members who have passed were sitting next to me. I didnt feel alone. This was something that I decided to do on my own so why would I need an entourage of people there to support me. I had my support looking down on me

As I stepped into the pool I felt an amazing feeling of peace coming over my body. As I was sumbmered it seemed like I was there for hours. Peace, joy, happiness and harmony entered my body and it almost seemed as though my life flashed in front of me. All the negativity, all the hurt, all the pain and all the fear left my body.

I felt a sense of joy and the feeling like you had when you were a little kid on Christmas morning. You would look at the tree and know that those gifts under the tree were for you. You couldnt see what they were but you knew they were there and someone who cared very much for you put them there for you. This is how I now feel. I have gifts waiting for me, I dont know what they are but I know that they are there. Each day I will unwrapped one and be thankful for the gift that God has given me. No matter how small or large the package is the gift is mine, given to me by the one person who loves me unconditionally. These gifts are mine for the taking and will always be there from this day forward. Some of the gifts I may not understand why I received them but I know in my heart that they are gifts that will help along my journey.

As I write this I have an overwhelming joy in my heart that somethng big is coming my way. Something so amazing and something that will change my life forever, and for that I am excited.

I have a new outlook on life. Everyday is a gift, and everyday should be lived to the fullest. My job now is to accept these gifts and accept the fact that God is in control and every trial and tribulation that is put in front of me is a blessing and not a burden.

Throughout these last few months I have gone through some amazing expereinces. I have been humbled, I have been hurt, I have cried, I have been in pain, I have felt alone, scared, troubled, but now I am feeling a sense that all of things are all part of a bigger plan.

Thee are times that I have doubted God, felt as though he wasnt listening to me but I have realized now all I have to do is have fatih and have faith in my heart.

There are many things ahead of me that will change my life forever. Things that I once feared but no longer fear then because I know in my heart that these are all steps I have to take to get me to the next level. I am now confident that my life will have meaning and one day I hope that something that I have done or will do may inspire someone.

I want to thank all of you for your continued prayers, support, phone calls, emails and caring words. Now it is time for me to pay it orward.

James J Oktavec

August 4, 1964 - May 26, 2012

How will you be remembered?

1. Don't see. Do.

Can you speak intelligently about how clothing provides a window into the inner lives of Mad Men characters? Do you find yourself arguing about how the degree of depth lost in the Game of Thrones TV series as compared to the books?

Anyone can share opinions about movies or TV or even books. That's why opinions are quickly forgotten. What you say isn't interesting; what you do is interesting. Spend your life doing instead of watching. Cool things will happen. Cool things are a lot more interesting and a lot more memorable.

2. Do something unusual.

Draw a circle and put all your "stuff" in it. Your circle will look a lot like everyone else's: Everyone works, everyone has a family, everyone has homes and cars and clothes....

We like to think we're unique, but roughly speaking we're all the same, and similar isn't memorable.

So occasionally do something different. Backpack to the next town just to see how many people stop to offer you a ride. (Don't take them up on it, though. Unless you appear to be in distress, the people who want to give you a ride are the last people you want to ride with.) Try to hike/scramble to the top of a nearby mountain no one climbs.

Or work from a coffee shop one day just to see what you learn about other people... and about yourself.

Whatever you do, the less productive and sensible it is, the better. Your goal isn't to accomplish something worthwhile; the goal is to collect experiences.

Experiences, especially unusual experiences, make your life a lot richer and way more interesting.

3. Embark on a worthless mission.

You're incredibly focused, consistently on point, and relentlessly efficient.

You're also really, really boring.

Remember when you were young and followed stupid ideas to their illogical conclusions? Road trips, failing the cinnamon challenge, trying to eat six saltine crackers in one minute without water... you dined out on those stories for years.

Going on "missions," however pointless and inconvenient, was fun. In fact the more pointless the more fun you had, because missions are about the ride, not the destination.

So do something, just once, that adults no longer do. Drive eight hours to see a band. Buy your seafood at the dock. Or do something no one else thinks of doing. Ride along with a policeman on a Friday night (it's the king of all eye-opening experiences.)

Pick something it doesn't make sense to do a certain way and do it that way. You'll remember it forever—and so will other people.

4. Embrace a cause.

People care about—and remember—people who care. When you stand for something you stand apart.

5. Let other people spread the word.

People who brag are not remembered for what they've done; they're remembered for the fact they brag.

Do good things and other people will find out. The less you say, the more people remember.

6. Get over yourself.

Most of the time your professional life is like a hamster wheel of resume or C.V. padding: You avoid all possibility of failure while maximizing the odds of success in order to ensure your achievement graph climbs up and up and up. Inevitably, that approach starts to extend to your personal life too.

So you run... but you won't enter a race because you don't want to finish at the back of the pack. You sing... but you won't share a mic in a friend's band because you're no Adele. You'll sponsor the employee softball team but you won't play because you're not very good. Personally and professionally, you feel compelled to maintain your all-knowing, all-achieving, all conquering image. And you're not a person. You're a resume. Stop trying to seem perfect. Accept your faults. Make mistakes. Hang yourself out there. Try and fail.

Then be gracious when you fail. When you do, people will definitely remember you because people who are willing to fail are rare... and because people who display grace and humility, especially in the face of defeat, are incredibly rare.

To All my Friends

o As many of you know I have been wallowing in self pitty and self destruction these last few months over a person I love with all my heart who is now gone

Today God put someone in my life that I will never forget. He was and always will be an inspiration to me and I hope to you as well.

Today at the radio station we had an outdoor bbq in the parking lot.

Without going through every detail I started a conversation with one of the caterers. As hispanic kid I would say mid 20s. had that gansta look (old jim peaks out for a second). So as I was talking to I was pretending to be happy, you know fake it until you make it.

We were talking and all I was thinking about is my problems. Then I learned that he was a cook there, 27, made the peach cobler. I asked him if went to school for that and he said no , he is actually in his 6th yr of vet school. And for a split second the old Jim peaked out and said no way not this kid. But then I listened to his story. He came over by himself from mexico after he graduated high school at 16.

I asked why he came by himself and he told me that he lost his family. His monther died of cancer a few months ago, his father was in an oil refinery accident a few years ago and was so severely injured they took him off life support, his 16 year old sister was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver.....and he just lost his baby son to spinal menegitas not long ago.

I was speachless. As the thoughts of my problems flew out of my head and where replace by his, one thought came to my head that i had to ask him...How do you smile. He looked up to the sky and said to make them proud. He is doing it for his family and his son who is watching down on him. He said he wanted to be succesful for them amd make something out of his life

I shook his hand hugged him and told him h e was truly an inspiration to everyone.

I never got his name but i think his story was what i was supposed to remember and share.

The last two people I have met in the last two days are truly inspirations in my life. Not their story but how to live life. They have taught me that there is happiness in everything in the universe no matter what your circumstances are. Embrace life. Live it and NO MATTER what your problem in life is, turn it around, work it out and make it a life alterning / decision making inspiration for someone

never lose hope and never give up

Jim