As I was cleaning out a drawer in the bathroom today I came
across a bottle of pills that were prescribed for my “depression”. Pills that I
had been taking for the last 10/12 years. Pills that I thought made me happy
and pills that I thought I had flushed down the toilet. We’ll I was curious.
Would I feel better if I took one of these? Would I feel better if I were to
take the “prescribed” dosage? I checked the expiration date and they were
fairly new and have another 12 months shelve life so I took one.
Now to remind you I was on Prozac and three Valium a day “as
prescribed but a highly educated” “professional” Since January 20th
I stopped all medication because I felt I didn’t need them anymore. I flushed
them down the toilet, so I thought.
After taking my “happy pill” for my “depression” I felt
myself becoming more and more negative, more and more angry. I was sluggish and
tired. I had no motivation to do anything. I started to think if this is
happening with one pill, I couldn’t imagine how bad I was after taking one more
throughout the day.
After I started feeling this way I pushed myself with all my
might and went out into the yard and spent several hours doing yard word. It
took all my strength to stay awake and to keep motivated and to keep working in
the yard. Little things began to irritate me like a dog barking, a cat meowing
for food, spilling a bag of grass the wind blowing. All of these emotions and
actions that I lived and experienced in the past were resurfacing. I was experiencing negativity and anger,
emotions that I had not felt in several month. Could this just be my
sub-conscious playing a trick on me. I don’t think so because of the emotional
roller coaster I have been on I think I would have at least felt negativity in
my repertoire of emotions. But I can honestly say that negativity, anger or
lack of motivation were not any of the emotions I had been experiencing in the
past few month
Am I blaming my past actions on the mini pharmacy that I was
swallowing everyday “as prescribed by a professional” Yes and no, Yes I trusted
a “professional” but no because I had the choice. In all fairness I did take
the advice of an experienced shrink.
I now realized that these pills were making me act like a
person that I was trying to avoid. I had looked the definition of irony in the
dictionary and saw above scenario play out under the definition.
So next time you have a problem and you visit the local
snake oil salesman I would suggest that before you cash your prescription in
ask God for help instead of a “professional drug dealer.” I am going to go out
on a limb here and say that God has more credentials that a shrink.
Ask the one person who can help your mind get straight. God.
After asking God, then do as he says as well as seek reference from the bible.
I stopped taking my “happy pills” and switch over to the
best physician not on any insurance plan and I can say with all my heart, he
had the best prescription…..His word.
Have a Happy Easter and Enjoy Your Family Today because we
do not know what tomorrow holds
Love,
Jim
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